Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Bubble Hotties: Sexual Hubs
filed under: Dating 2.0, Web Sex Index, Bubble Hotties by Lux Nightmare
The bubble — (blogging about) it’s so hot right now. As the bubble (or, hopefully, not-a-bubble) grows, so too, does the collective hotness of the web and its makers. Here Sexerati tracks the ways web development and erotic development complement and complicate one another for those profiting from the web, and for those who fuck them.
A few months ago, I was out in Park Slope picking up some candy from a friend’s house. My friend was out running errands, but standing in her kitchen was a cute, vaguely familiar looking girl.
We introduced ourselves. “You look familiar,” she said. I admitted to having a LiveJournal, and we exchanged screennames.
Her name struck a chord: I felt fairly certain I’d seen it somewhere, perhaps commenting on a friend’s post. I asked if she knew one of my friends, one who tends to know a lot of people.
“Oh yes,” she said, and from the tone of her voice I could tell there was a certain subtext to her reply.
“Oh, I know him too,” I said.
Social network theory categorizes some people as hubs: the kind of people who seem to know everyone, who are able to connect seemingly disparate groups, making new connections everywhere they come and go. Hubs are the glue that binds social circles, hubs make the wheels of social networking turn.
Hubs exist in all different social spheres: your professional life, your social life, and, yes, even your sex life. During my time out in the field, so to speak, I’ve known (and known) more than a few hubs: Audacia Ray and I became acquainted because of a mutual ex-boyfriend — the same ex-boyfriend whose interest in the ladies introduced to me to a prominent sex columnist, one of New York City’s finest burlesque stars, and more than a handful of other women I now consider close friends.
The idea of sex as a social networking force may seem counterintuitive to some: how can sex — a private act — be the basis of something as public as a social network? But sex is, fundamentally, about making social connections (seriously: just look at the bonobos) — and what are social networks, if not a web of social connections?
I rode the subway home with the cute girl from my friend’s kitchen. We Internet-friended each other, and later went out for brunch. The hub that linked us may not have been the reason for our ultimate friendship, but our shared carnal knowledge certainly provided enough material for the initial conversation that led us there. And really: isn’t that what hubs are for? At the end of the day, they’re all about providing the tenuous connection between person A and person B. And whether that connection exists because of job experience, a common alma mater, or a shared fuck, the end result is usually the same. Whether it’s Friendster or Fuckster, LinkedIn or LovedOn: a sexual connection is a social connection, as legitimate a part of your social network as any other.
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The “hub” is a rich metaphor here. Images come to mind of both the physical computer and the physical body. We all have so many ports and digits to play with now.
“A few months ago, I was out in Park Slope picking up some candy from a friend’s house.”
Picking up some candy? Is that a drug reference or a sex reference? I mean, adults don’t go get candy at each others’ houses, do they?
No, it was actual candy.