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Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Unpersonals: Friendster (Then and Now)

filed under: Web Sex Index, Unpersonals by Lux Nightmare

Unpersonals. You know them. You probably even have an account on one of them, complete with sassy photos, lots of comments, and a multipage friends list. And of course, you’d never, ever use that kind of site to meet someone. Or stalk someone. Right?

Of course right.

We’ve been holding off on this site for a while, because it’s so obvious: and yet it so needs to be done. So hold onto your hats: this week we profile the grandaddy of all unpersonals, the one and only Friendster.

Site Name: Friendster (2003)

Ostensible Purpose: Connecting friends of friends. Allowing people to meet on the Internet without being perceived as creepy. Getting Jonathan Abrams a date.

What It’s Really Used For: Demonstrating your social prowess by amassing a vast and impressive list of friends.

Target Demographic: Aspiring social networkers. People who are afraid of the Internet, yet also drawn to the idea of using it to demonstrate their popularity.

Who Really Uses It: Everyone. I mean, every young, hip urbanite. That’s everyone, right?

Good For Meeting People? If you’re just getting into the Internet, and can manage to get yourself past the whole “Meeting people on the Internet is creepy” thing, then yes, it probably is. If the thought of meeting someone in real life still gives you the creeps, you might just want to stick to amassing vast network of “friends,” bragging about the size of your social network, and leaving testimonials on people’s pages.

Good For Stalking People? Some of the biggest Friendster fans are Internet newbies with poorly defined boundaries/concepts of maintaining privacy on the Internet. These people are liable to put more than a little information about themselves on their Friendster account: it’s Stalk City, man.

Bottom line: Everyone who is anyone has a Friendster account.

Site Name: Friendster (2007)

Ostensible Purpose: Social networking. Videos. Blogs. Forums. Everything that MySpace does, a few months after MySpace has conquered the territory.

What It’s Really Used For: Not much.

Target Demographic: People who want a MySpace-like experience with a better layout and better functionality.

Who Really Uses It: No one.

Good For Meeting People? Not unless you want to meet Jonathan Abrams. He’s probably still using the site.

Good For Stalking People? There is a certain type of person who created a Friendster account and then promptly forgot the Internet existed. These people are not on MySpace, Dodgeball, Last.fm, Consumating, or any of those crazy, modern post-Friendster sites. If you want to stalk them, Friendster is probably your only hope. Of course, in this case, “stalk” pretty much means “Look at four year old photos, testimonials, and friend connections.” But hey: beggars can’t be choosers.

Bottom line: Friendster’s popularity died out around the same time that trucker hats became passe. The site’s owners might try to pretty it up and add new features (look! blogs!), but they can’t escape the fact that, for most of us, Friendster profiles are off in a pile, collecting dust with along with our Uggs, White Stripes singles, and, yes, trucker hats.

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