Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Bubble Hotties Roundup
filed under: Bubble Hotties, Web Sex Index by Melissa Gira
Oh no they didn’t. Valleywag gives aspiring bubble hotties a HOWTO for faking your own hotness, should it have failed to kick in with your series B funding. They’ve got a case study and everything. Amazing. Trashy, yes, and amazing.
A surefire way to score with bubble hottie-chasing scenesters is to gently mock your own bubble hottiness. Pick a blog title that shows how vulnerable yet tragically brilliant you are — “Awkward Things I Say To Girls” is already taken, and has also already beaten you to the “why geeks make good lovers” VDAY post punch, but keep on brainstorming — you know you’re on the right track if what you come up with sounds like it could run in a McSweeney’s list.
The Queen of all Sex Nerds, Carol Queen, blogs this Valentine to Anna Nicole Smith, who I’m tempted to claim as a sainted sex nerd and tragic proto-bubble hottie. It’s true, Anna Nicole had an inner geek, too: of her first Playboy pictorial she said, “The people in [Texas] won’t believe it when these pictures of me hit the newsstands, because I was considered a goody-two-shoes nerd back in high school.” Says Dr. Queen:
“…her death, her details, the great attention paid to her passing isn’t just because she’s America’s Rose (huh?) or our next incarnation of Marilyn Monroe or even America’s Diana. It’s because she’s the girl next door who rose to unexpected (and in one sense unexplained) heights. *She’s* the proof that in America, anyone can make it really big… and that fantasy helps so many people wake up in the morning, it’s no wonder folks are fixated on Anna Nicole.”
Here’s a big-cup-of-trendy-Mission-coffee toast, then, raised up in hope of smarter sex fantasies for all of our tomorrows.
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