• ABOUT
• CONTACT
• SUBSCRIBE
• HOME

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Sexerati Interviews: Bronwen Pardes

filed under: Erotic Elite, State of Sex Ed, Sexerati Interviews by Lux Nightmare

I met Bronwen Pardes at a salon of NYC sex writers and educators, and was immediately impressed with her. In addition to being super smart about sex (she used to teach a college course on human sexuality), she’s just put out a really awesome book of sex information for teenagers: Doing It Right. Oh, and she lives across the street from me, to boot.

Complete the following sentence: Bronwen Pardes is…
…probably a one-of-a-kind name. (My first name is an unusual Welsh name; my last name is a very rare Sephardic name.)

…almost never embarrassed when talking about sex, though often embarrassed when talking about things that most people don’t find embarrassing. I don’t understand it myself.

…a sexual health educator, with a master’s in human sexuality from NYU, who works as an HIV counselor at a hospital and a writer.

How did you get into sex education? When did you first become interested in the field?
My path to this field wasn’t exactly straight. In my early twenties I was very interested in arts education, and worked for an organization that brought all kinds of performing and visual arts into schools. One day my boss told me that I should watch a documentary that would be on TV that night, about her sister, who ran a theatre company that educated kids about HIV prevention. I remember the moment like it was yesterday—I thought, someone is doing that? That’s what I want to do. I eventually met her sister, Cydelle Berlin, and worked with her. Gradually, I realized that sex education interested me more than arts education, and I followed in her footsteps by attending NYU’s graduate program in human sexuality.

For a lot of people, the idea of studying sex seems strange: there’s an assumption that it’s limited to just talking about condoms and where babies come from. What would you say to people who question the idea of sexuality as an academic discipline?
I have this conversation a lot. I tell people that sexuality is such a vital part of who we are, how could it not be a subject worth studying? In order to get a well-rounded understanding of sexuality, my graduate education had to touch on sociology, biology, culture, education, politics, public health…it’s an incredibly rich and diverse field of study. At NYU I remember thinking that I could almost feel my mind expanding, it was happening so rapidly and dramatically. And I don’t think I will ever get bored with this field—the more I learn, the more I realize how much there is still to learn. So no, it’s not just about condoms and babies!
You have a book coming out later this year. What’s it about?
It’s geared towards teens, and it discusses everything I think they should know before becoming sexually active. I discuss all the obvious stuff—birth control, STD prevention, sexual orientation, sexual assault. I also talk about gender identity, which is a subject very few books for teens cover, and I’m very frank about stuff like masturbation and orgasms. I hope that I’ve written it in a way that doesn’t preach, but instead, informs teens and empowers them to make their own healthy decisions.

Some people seem to have issues with the idea of giving teenagers complete, accurate information about sex. What’s your stance on that?
I understand that adults are scared that the more information we give teens, the more likely they are to have sex. But the truth is, kids become curious about sex whether parents and teachers talk to them about it or not. Studies show that kids who get abstinence-only education programs in school may wait a bit to start having sex, but when they do have sex, they don’t have the information they need to do it safely. We can’t stop kids from wanting to have sex and exploring their sexuality; what we can do best is to offer information so that they can make informed decisions.

Along those lines, I don’t believe in shying away from talking about pleasure when teaching about sex, because I’d argue that there’s a direct link between knowledge about sexual pleasure and the ability to have safer sex, especially for the young and inexperienced. When I taught sex ed in high schools, one of my jobs was to dispel myths about “blue balls,” the uncomfortable feeling a guy gets when he’s aroused for too long without release. “Don’t worry, kids, no matter what he tells you, his testicles won’t break, they don’t actually turn blue, and he won’t suffer brain damage.” It’s important to reassure teens that there’s no reason to risk pregnancy or an STD no matter how much he’s wincing. But this situation could have a “happy ending,” so to speak, without putting anyone at risk —the teens best equipped in this scenario are the ones who know that it’s OK to masturbate yourself or someone else. Still, what sex educator feels brave and empowered enough to give a lesson on the finer points of hand jobs?

When doing sex education, is there ever such a thing as too much information? Do you think any limits need to be placed in terms of what information is given out?
I think sex education should be offered in an age-appropriate way. Young children don’t necessarily need to be told everything there is to know about sex right away, though I do think sex education should start early, so kids can learn about puberty before they go through it, and get some messages about respecting their bodies. But ultimately, no, I don’t think there’s ever such a thing as too much information. There is tons of wrong and misleading and inappropriate information out there about sex, so pretending it doesn’t exist is not an option. What we can do is counteract all that with accurate information.

What one thing to consider to be most essential to a good, healthy sex life?
It may sound cheesy, but if I had to pick one thing, it would be knowing what you want and being able to communicate it to your partner. (Is that two things?) It’s important whether you’re talking about using condoms or what gets you off. It’s something we all struggle with, not just as kids but well into adulthood. And I think it’s the most important ingredient in good sex.

Want to learn more about Bronwen (or purchase her book)? Please visit her website.

Comments