Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Look! Condoms!
filed under: Bubble Hotties, We Are The Sex Media, Smart. Safe. Sex. by Melissa Gira
Apparently, unlike BlogHer, there’s no condom vendors at South by Southwest for Nick Douglas (nee: Valleywag, whose launch we blogged once-upon-a-time, now lost to the mists of dead servers) to whore himself out to for a sponsorship at his video blog, Look! Shiny!.
See here:
(revlogged via lookshiny.com)
We could say we don’t know what kind of condoms you’re using, Nick, but… but instead here’s, by way of retort, a quick-and-dirty on three ways to improve condom sex:
• Keep condoms near bedside, and exploit the opportunity to fetch one as a moment to talk up who can’t wait to fuck who.
• If you’re having a truly good time, sticky hands are inevitable. Teamwork is the order of the day to get a stubborn, slippery package open. Barring that, tiny towels? Hiring a PA?
• To avoid the perilous “top-the-wrong-way-round” situation, ever-so-slightly roll and unroll the rim of the condom back and forth to ascertain which way is the correct one. Use this moment to add a tiny drop of water-based lube to the inside tip for increased, slippery ‘receptacle-filling’ action.
To sum up: condoms, your friend and mine. And if any nonoxynol-9 free, 100% latex, pre-waterbased lubricated, non-textured, really truly clear, and with a hip rounded cornered font packaged condom company is looking for a videoblog to sponsor who loves them? Ahem.
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[…] but something we first were tipped to via Twitter — you remember, Nick Douglas’s stirring endorsement of condoms — we hear again now via Twitter (on Lux’s phone, to be exact, standing next to me) that […]
The dude needs an attitude adjustment, and maybe a lucky condom holder might do the trick. If you ask me, it is time to settle down and get married if he feels that strongly about it.