• ABOUT
• CONTACT
• SUBSCRIBE
• HOME

Monday, March 26, 2007

I Heart Sex; Am I The Only One?

filed under: Sexerati Hearts by Melissa Gira

There’s no such thing as talking too much about sex in a sex-mad world. Sex educators, sex writers, and the sex media are so often in the business of talking and thinking sex, however, that we often forget to say along with that how much we heart sex itself — sex all for its own sake. So let’s get on with it: I love sex, and I know that I can’t be the only one. I love sex, because, rather than all the propaganda about sex bringing disease and despair, science is stepping in to back up what us gleeful sluts have known all along: sex isn’t just good, but good for you. Having a healthy sex life actually makes you more healthy. Sex reduces stress and depression, relieves pain, improves cardio health, and may even slow aging.

Which means, every minute that we spend fearing we aren’t good enough, might get rejected, don’t know how to ask for what we want, we’re literally chipping away at our mental and physical well-being. When we shame others around us for indulging in the sex we ourselves wish we knew how to have, we’re missing out on the chance that sex itself affords us to get over ourselves. That’s what I’m really talking about when I talk about loving sex: that though there’s plenty of guilt, shame, and paralyzing fear going around out there about sex, that it’s through sex that we can start to feel better about ourselves and let go.

Truth is, no one — not even a ’sexpert’ — is born knowing how to get the sex that they want. Getting worked up over not being one of the sexerati is actually a surefire way to continue the kind of complex that will keep you from developing your sex smarts. Don’t just sit around reading blogs and watching internet tv; there’s nothing here that’s going to make you think, feel, or act any different about sex unless you also get out there and practice fucking. Why in every other aspect of our lives do we value the accumulation of experience, but decry sexual experience as evidence of being no more than some kind of sex object, or shameless exhibitionist?

Your assignment, then, if you choose to accept it (and I hope you do, and blog/Flickr/twitter the heck out of it), is to ask someone that you want to kiss for a kiss. Be honest, straightforward, direct. Be seductive, shy, cute. Be whatever comes up naturally. The important thing to do is get over that fear of asking. The world will not end, and hey, you might even have a good time. If we all do it, we might all have a better time. Kiss someone for the sake of it, for the sake of sex, for the sake of your own well-being. Then tell us how it went, okay? We’re all in this sex smart thing together.

Comments