Wednesday, April 11, 2007

The 10 Reasons Why Sex Nerds Make Better Lovers

filed under: Erotic Elite by Melissa Gira | 3 Comments

Generally speaking, we still heart Wired after thirteen and some-odd years, but what’s tired: yet another missive on the sexiness of geeks that neglects to mention sex’s own geeks: sexologists, sex educators, cultural historians of sex, sexual social scientists, and nerdy sexbloggers (just saying). True, geeks need to raise their sex flag high and reclaim their true slutty powers as part and parcel of the other weird hacker behavior they’ve got going on around things sex, but I mean, if the Times this week can sing love songs and write porny prose on the glory that is the study of sex, we ought to at least do one better as sex nerds and offer up our own (hopefully soon-to-be-tired) list:

Sex nerds are too busy reading Baudrillard to sign up for Second Life. Does knowing how to get your avatar laid really bear so much on having great physical sex? The Late Great Jean would know — but also, being able to chat post-coitally about post-structural analyses of seduction and signification? More, please.

Sex nerds do it self-referentially. The crop of pornos out now featuring sex researchers (The Bi Apple, In Search of the Wild Kingdom) reveal the double-hotness in how to apply the finest in field study to the finest of fucking; that is, sex nerds not only know to do it, they know why they want to do it that way, and, based on a random sampling, how you might want it, too.

Sex nerds need study breaks. Never have the words ‘faculty lounge’ connoted such tense heat…

Sex nerds know how to ask really, really good questions about your sexual history, and when to dispense with the professional veneer and turn ‘Take Dr. Kinsey’s survey’ into a dirty little roleplay.

Sex nerds know the difference between qualitative and quantitative measures. That is, if you’ve been holding out on tabulating your personal sexual metrics (how many, how much, how often), a sex nerd lover can assist you in taking other data into account (how good, how cute, how skilled) and with way less judgment than your (doctor/ex/weird uncle/editor).

Sex nerds value inspiration and innovation in an increasingly sex mad world, whether that’s seeking a quickie bit of calm from the storm of depressing sex news, or getting off as a balm for an abrasively sex-negative graduate committee member, or as a much-needed reminder as to why they got into this whole sex thing to begin with. Just think: your orgasm may be the one to launch a whole new field of erotic studies. No pressure.

Sex nerds take sex seriously but not so seriously that they can’t still get spectacularly messy with sex (though this ’sexologist bed death’ we’ve heard of? Tragic.)

Sex nerds are keen sex educators and can keep things hard and wet even as they are midway into a very practical condom demonstration. (Just don’t get them started on social constructivsm vs. biological determinism, unless you know some Tantric mojo to keep things going for hours. Then again, don’t mention Tantra unless you’re prepared for a lecture on cultural misappropriation and the exotification of sexuality as means by which to further commodify erotic dissatisfaction. Unless…)

Being lovers with a sex nerd is one surefire way to become a sex nerd yourself. This is, after all, how we propagate the species — of more sex smart lovers to choose from.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Sexerati Interviews: Yuliya

filed under: Erotic Elite, Sexerati Interviews by Lux Nightmare | Leave a Comment

I met Yuliya years and years ago, when I was in my first year at Columbia. She was a junior, and the president of Conversio Virium, the campus BDSM club. I thought she was probably the coolest person I’d ever met. Years down the line, she’s got a fancy degree in health education, works at Planned Parenthood, and runs the sexual health advice blog Ask Yuliya. I sat down with her recently to talk sex ed, BDSM, and (of course) good sex.

Complete the following sentence: Yuliya is…
hoping to teach you something you didn’t know.

How did you become interested in sex education? What inspired you to pursue that field?
I’m not quite sure when my interest became “formal” so to speak, or formal enough to pursue a degree, but I do know that I’ve always been interested in sex and sexuality. I’ve always thought that it was strange that schools didn’t start sex ed earlier and didn’t go into it deeper. My health class was in 10th grade and the only things covered where body parts, STI’s and pregnancy. I knew there was more to discuss, so I read all I could. People always thought I was more experienced than I was because I knew answers to questions they had and took their concerns with an open mind. Eventually, I just noticed that people came to me with questions and I decided that I had a knack for sex education.

What was the sex ed you got as a child like? Was it mostly from your parents? From school?
My parents, especially my Mom, have always been open about sex. I asked some questions about babies around the age of 6 and I remember my mother explaining everything very calmly and without embarassment. Eventually, I found a copy of the Kama Sutra that my parents had (and a couple of other sex manuals) and I would sneak those books away and read them behind some more innocuous book. When we moved to the U.S., I was in 7th grade, so I think I missed any puberty-type education that schools may have provided. The only other formal class I had was in 10th grade.

What, in your opinion, is the most important thing to teach people about sex?
I want to teach people that sex should be fun for all involved - this is a broad statement, but eventually does include everything from knowing your body/masturbation, to being comfortable with your sexuality, to being safe in order not to worry, to issues of explicit consent, etc.

What was your motivation for starting Ask Yuliya?
I’ve been having some trouble finding a job in sex education, though I am still looking. Meanwhile, I thought I’d try to share my knowledge. I hope eventually people will start asking me questions. There are quite a few relationship advice columns out there, but I haven’t seen many deal with explicit issues of sex, sexuality and sexual health and I think many people can benefit from accurate information, especially since the Bush administration seems to consider abstinence-only education to be a useful tool. I think most of the information in those courses is misleading and very much incomplete. The Internet is a powerful thing - the more correct information out there, the better.

In college, you were a member (and president) of Conversio Virium, the Columbia BDSM club. How did you find out about the club?
I actually stumbled over the Conversio Virium table at the Activities Fair my freshman year. I didn’t really know what BDSM was or what the club was about, but was intrigued. Ever since I can remember, my own sexuality always had elements of bondage and DS in it, though I did not put a name to it. It was great finding a group of people who could discuss these things and teach me more.

What made you want to become president of CV? What was the best thing about the experience? The worst?
My presidency was kind of a fluke. The club was suffering low attendance and the interest was barely there to keep it going. I decided to step in, starting with a vice-presidency in my sophomore year. I really wanted to keep the club going, since I had learned a lot and wanted to meet more people of like mind. The best part was probably the annual Activities Fair, since I got to dress up and show off toys. The worst was probably the beauracracy - the endless papers that needed to be filled out for the budget, the fliers that had to be created, the agendas for meetings and so on.

Did you face any problems on campus after becoming the president of CV? Did anyone treat you differently after learning you were a part of a BDSM club?
I never had one problem. In fact, people were very curious when they found out that I was a member or president of CV. Often, there were teachings moments when I could explain what BDSM was, that it was normal and completely consensual - that yes, some things hurt, but that was part of the fun. Eventually, I found out that people who knew me only marginally knew that I was “that S & M club chick.” It was kind of cute.

Name some common misconceptions about people in BDSM.
People who are into BDSM were abused as children and this is an unhealthy way that they continue to work through their issues. You can tell who is into BDSM because they all dress in black leather and chains. BDSM is only about pain and suffering. I think many people were surprised to find out that someone who looked fairly normal, like myself, could be into something they considered to be deviant and disgusting.

And lastly: what, in your opinion, is the most important part of a healthy sex life?
I think the first ingredient in a healthy sex life is self-knowledge - knowing how one’s body works, what it likes, what are one’s limits and how to stick to them. Second, if this is a sex life with a partner(s), communication is a must. Also, trust is a huge part of being able to relax and enjoy one’s sexual life.

Curious about Yuliya? Learn more over at Ask Yuliya.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Sexerati Exclusive: ‘In Search of the Wild Kingdom’ Teaser Video Clip

filed under: Sexerati Hearts, Erotic Elite, Smart. Safe. Sex. by Melissa Gira | 1 Comment

Warning, the following may just be too much hotness, too much certainly to contain in just this one little bit of Firefox opened up on the sunniest, sweetest street in the Lower Haight today (of course I blog sex in public), too much hotness for San Francisco, too much hotness for us not to share this gasp, smack, wet-inducing clip that director Shine Houston has delivered to us exclusively from the latest Pink&White Productions feature, In Search of the Wild Kingdom.

pinkwhite-wildkingdom Wild Kingdom, in a perfect pomo porno twist, documents the (fictional) documentary of a het girl filmmaker in search of ‘the real lesbians of San Francisco,’ and, of course, the real sex she finds along the way.

So, who videoloves you, baby? Watch the clip now.

Want more, and better yet, more in the company of other fans (and makers) of delectably dirty smut, be sure to hit the Roxie Theatre in San Francisco on March 29th for the world premiere.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Sexerati Interviews: Shine Houston

filed under: Erotic Elite, Sexerati Interviews by Melissa Gira | 3 Comments

I’ve been heartcore a fan of Pink & White: Porn for Pussies since I first heard glimmerings from my former peep show co-workers about what they were up to that weekend: shooting hot, hot dyke porn for a hot, hot new director. Shine Houston sits down with us over email to let us know what’s what what when it comes to dykes and their friends & lovers getting down, and on DV.

shine

Complete the following sentence: Shine Houston is… totally hot (he he). Shine Louise Houston is the founder of Pink&White Productions. She also Produces and directs each video.

What was the defining moment that made you a (we say respectfully) pornographer?
The series of events that allowed me to be a pornographer were pretty simple. I was employed at Good Vibrations where I had my first real exposure to porno. There I saw movies by Fatal Media, SIR Productions and Dirty Pillows. Through out my five years at GV it noticed a definite lack in dyke made dyke porn. So I decided to put my film degree to work and start my own film company, Pink&White Productions.

Shortly after I decided to start my company I worked with Tony Comstock of Comstock Films. That was my very first experience shooting porn. Through Tony I met Christophe Pettus who eventually became my executive producer and distributor.

« go back — keep looking »

Departments

Archives