Wednesday, January 10, 2007

The Sexerati Guide to Unpersonals


filed under: Dating 2.0, Web Sex Index, Unpersonals by Lux Nightmare | 5 Comments

Once upon a time, meeting people on the Internet meant one of two things:

1) You joined a personals site
2) You somehow managed to start talking to someone through a message board/a chatroom/their email on a website, and then managed to convince them you were noncreepy enough to meet in person

Back then, meeting people on the Internet carried an air of desperation. It was something you didn’t really want to admit to, something you made a story to hide.

Then came Friendster.

Ostensibly a way to meet your friends’ friends, Friendster made the Internet “safe” for people too secure in their social skills to sign up for a personals site. On Friendster, you weren’t trolling for a date: you were demonstrating how popular you were! You were showing off your cute photos! You were making witty comments about your friends!

With the rise of Friendster came a whole new wave of “unpersonals” sites. You know them. You probably even have an account on one of them, complete with sassy photos, lots of comments, and a multipage friends list. And of course, you’d never, ever use that site to meet someone. Or stalk someone. Right?

Of course right.

And so, without further ado, here is your first installment in the Sexerati Guide to Unpersonals:

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Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Romancing AIM: When An Ellipsis is Just an Ellipsis


filed under: Design for Sex, Dating 2.0 by Melissa Gira | 1 Comment

ichat

Reason #87557 not to have emo conversations over AIM: the dreaded ellipsis as you wait for a response to any number of potentially devastating questions. Worse yet, the ellipsis appears, then disappears, appears, then disappears. Then, finally, maybe: a message.

And repeat.

This is why they preferred clay tablets once.

thanks to my ichat demo fellow above, who i actually started dating before IM even existed, ha!

Monday, January 8, 2007

HOW TO: Be Friends With Your Ex


filed under: Dating 2.0, HOW TO: by Lux Nightmare | 9 Comments

(Welcome to Sexerati’s new contributor, longtime future sex mover and shaker, Lux Nightmare, with this first of our weekly HOW TO guides on hacking sex & relationships. - ed.)

We’re sitting in Union Square, leaning against the base of one of the park’s many concrete statues, and he looks at me and says, “I think it’s for the best if we’re just friends.”

And it hits me like a slap in the face: because, of course, “just friends” never means quite that. “Just friends” is code for “I used to want to fuck you, but now I’m over that. Please don’t hate me.” “Just friends” is an attempt at softening the blow of rejection, a way to end a relationship without coming across as too much of an asshole. But what if the intentions behind the statement are sincere: is it possible to salvage a friendship once the relationship has gone south?

I want to say yes: and indeed, my experiences in the dating world have shown me that sometimes you get lucky and do manage to maintain the emotional connection you’ve created even after the sexual connection has died away. But sometimes (in my case, far more often), the baby gets thrown out with the bathwater, and you end up losing everything you had, all at once. So how do we avoid that pitfall? How do we hold on to the good parts as we transition into something new?

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Friday, January 5, 2007

‘My Phone’s On Vibrate For You’: The Best of Livedating SMS


filed under: Dating 2.0, SMS Livedating by Melissa Gira | Leave a Comment

It happens to the best of us. Your phone is on vibrate, and…

Not on date: I hope you’re having a damn fine night and that’s why I’ve heard NOTHING.
On date: Nice. At a bar. I hope we fuck.
Not on date: Can I blog that as Best. Date. Check-in. Ever.
On date: Sure

… so let’s, as I said yesterday, not hate on it, let’s work it.

Send in your SMS transcripts from your dates (not with your dates, with the people who aren’t on your dates but you’re still checking in with) and the best from the previous weekend gets posted here on Friday to inspire another weekend of always-on turn-on.

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