Tuesday, May 29, 2007

HOW TO: Talk About Sex In Public


filed under: HOW TO: by Melissa Gira | 1 Comment

Really, this is more of a “WHERE TO:”, as first the public sphere itself requires a bit of hasty, sure to leave out-CRUCIAL DISCOURSE defining before the heady stuff of content and context get had at properly.

So. Where? And for god’s sake, what about the children (oh, USA Today)?

In a classroom. One of my dearest, beloved professors kicked off her most popular class, “The Politics of Sex,” with the disclaimer that, though we would be talking extensively about sexual activity in the class, that it was neither an invitation to or expectation that we would each disclose our individual sexual practices as part of the discussion. “That I’m a femme-identified leather woman, currently and obviously pregnant, is not necessarily relevant to…” and oh the delicious etc. that followed. Sure, she was playing provocateur behind the lectern to make a point, and you can, too, but see also: what better excuse to get dirty with the best of the post-’68 French theorists so you can cloak your own bedroom deeds in the distance of the discursive landscape’s little turns of phrase, like, oh, my favorite: “power/knowledge”?

On a sidewalk. Hold a sign. Wear a button. Splash a slogan on your tits. Here it’s also quite a bit about clever metaphor, dropping out the best words, or, well, not, and playing at what sorts of sex talk goes best on the pavement: lofty proclamation, personal essay, faithful retellings, or just reckless bitching about the weekend past?

At a terrible and boring party. Now, this is where you’re — oh, I’m — most likely to get into trouble. There’s nothing like a dull cocktail-in-hand reception to prompt one to fill the air with provocation to amuse oneself, whether that’s tales of personal glory or just the latest sex/politics/religion triple threat to polite smalltalkeries. Gauge in the circle who’s who, who you’re likely to run into/work for in the future, or who’s really more busy flirting with others, or who needs a similar pick-up — or, just pick them up. Honestly, slipping away and making out with a newfound gossip partner is likely to require much less damage control later.

On a blog. Allow this final quote, then, from a very wise and successful escort: “It’s better these days to fuck these powerful, visible men for money, as at least then, you can be fairly certain they’re not going to blog about it. You never know who has a sex blog any more.” (Of course, disclosure: she knows.)

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