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Friday, May 25, 2007

Best of SMS Livedating: Epic Oh, My Smashed Up Memory Card Edition

filed under: SMS Livedating by Melissa Gira | 1 Comment

Who else crashes their phone under the weight of saved text messages? Who else but we ragpickers of SMS, collecting your dating detritus for later publication once all appropriate statutes of sex limitation have, if not passed, become less important than say, the story that could be told. Let’s offer up to the coming long weekend this memorial of our own, to a memory card about to burst, cut-up & smashed-up.

This is like Burroughs for the heart and fuck:

2006.12.03, 04:32: My cock is hard right now, daydreaming of intense sex with you.
2006.12.03, 04:37: Phone now? Skype now?
2006.12.30, 22:47: P.s. While we were at the bar, he took my picture. So cute.
2006.12.30, 22:50: Nice. I have a huge crush.
2007.01.01, 13:31: I’m too hung over to decode this, spell it out! Texted from my bed with a cute slothful girl.
2007.01.02, 00.01: Understandable. He is an amateur, though - isn’t all this pretty new to him?
Read more

Friday, April 13, 2007

Best of SMS Livedating: Pre(text of) (-)Dating Edition

filed under: SMS Livedating by Melissa Gira | 1 Comment

Let this be not a warning to empty your phone of textflirts, lest some intrepid researcher, sex technologist, or promiscuous blogger thumb through looking for the best bits. No, instead, please send them in here, so we can savor the choicest, like this week’s Best of SMS Livedating: The Pre-dating Edition.

It began innocently enough via Dodgeball:

A:@ [redacted] ! what does a href= orig. refer to anyway?

But once things moved, as they say, direct:

B: a href = Anchor, Hypertext, Reference
A: Was my text geekbait? Oh now I’m blushing. Hi.
B: Total geekbait. I don’t think I realized how sexy HTML tag trivia was.

Stay compliant, my darlings, and happy texting this weekend.

Friday, March 30, 2007

The Best of SMS Livedating: Getting to Know You(r Texts)

filed under: SMS Livedating by Lux Nightmare | Leave a Comment

You know how it is: someone you maybe kinda like invites you out for drinks, and you’re stuck in that place of “Is it drinks or is it a date?” So you go out, and you have a few beers, and the conversation starts to warm up:

On date: We are talking about places to have sex outside. Where could this lead?

Where indeed? Does talking about sex with someone automatically mean that you’re thinking about having sex with them? Or is talking about sex just a fun way to make conversation? You wait a little longer, waiting to see how things will unfold:

On date: We joint twittered.

Oh, it must be love.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Best of SMS Livedating: The Twitter Vs. Text Edition

filed under: SMS Livedating by Melissa Gira | Leave a Comment

In a cab, barreling through Manhattan in the sleet and hail, Lux and I were competing for tweets. Rather, competing for who could most quickly get each other’s wit down into 140 or characters or less. (She totally ran away with my ‘losing queer girl cred‘ train of thought, while I nicked her best accusations that I was ‘cheating on her with internet dick.’) Once we were in person, our live conversation made flippy floppy and switched up with Twitter, making our talking-to the real back channel, even as it was rapidly translated into something consumable to many more.

Does this happen all the time? Sure. Do we know that lots of great sex gossip never made it up? Absolutely. Here, then, is the best of what remains behind as dirty breadcrumbs on my phone’s memory — out of context, but hopefully, maybe, still salacious yet demonstrative of how always-on sex is becoming on a mobile, even when it’s post-dated:

text: oh i can feel the twitterpation from here. Literally. You are all such tweet sluts. plsnodontstop.
twitter: @u_m, seriously, [redacted]. now i’ve got sex to [redacted] to keep me warm on the next leg of my trip.
text: Oh my, my fingernails still bear the scent of your [redacted].
twitter: waiting for the A train in the barest of snowfall.
text: [redacted] … [redacted] and my toes curled as the music crashed. wet.
twitter: Back in Lux’s bed working with damp toes. New toys from Fifth Ave, just what a girl needs: an ipod nano, a bluetooth keyboard for my phone
text: thx for the warning. readying the lipgloss for battle. see you in 10.
twitter: new lipgloss: ’scandal.’ speaking of: what would be on your ’scandalous’ secret sex tape?
text: make him take dirty pix (vids?)
twitter: lux deems this evening CLASS2ASS

Happy weekend, and remember: it’s going to be a come-on sooner or later to ask for a ‘thumbrub’ after too much text flirting, so why not ring in the future right now?