Sure, “chain store” sounds filthy, but you’re not likely to find anything that outrageously exciting at the mall*.  This weekend, San Francisco’s Exotic Dancers’ Education Project sponsored what the New York Times delicately described as “An Orgy of Shopping Meets Shopping for an Orgy.”  There, escorts, strippers, and dominatrixes browsed bazaar-style tables decked with pussy soaps, “Whore Power” perfume, and all manner of gifts for all those vixens on your favorite holiday “Naughty” lists.  Sex worker celebs Scarlot Harlot and Carol Queen vended their own goodies (oh, not those, they’re retired), and erotic & burlesque acts kept shoppers far more engaged than your average mittened-and-muffed shopper could ever hope to be whilst stocking-stuffing.  Missed out?  It’s not too late to snag a “Sluts Unite!” tee.  Shop in it with pride.

* Granted, one should never underestimate the kink potential of your local, mom-and-pop hardware store, pharmacy, or equestrian outlet.

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