Why, Yes, iMasturbate
December 2nd, 2005 by Melissa Gira
The real miracle of this holiday season? If you think you don’t have someone to give a vibrator to, you’re only forgetting yourself… and why not accessorize your total non-surprise iPod (cue mom: “Be careful, sweetie, about all the iPorns, okay?”) while you’re at it.
But the Audi-Oh? So 2005. The iBuzz? If you’re in the UK, sure. But for the truly technologically hardcore, there’s the Eros Tek 312 Electrostim Unit. Hook up the audio-input to your hot little Nano, aim the built-in mic at you (or your subject’s) lips, and hitch your toy of choice to an electrolead. Gentlepervs, start your engines and prepare for an audio feedback loop triggering synchronized podgasms.
Sensitive to even a whisper - imagine what sort of jolt (ba-duh-dum) you’ll get out of that secret “F-Rock” playlist now. Feeling brave? Two words: Donna. Summer. There’s matching vaginal and anal probe attachments, as well as five sizes of electrifiable cock rings to choose from, all in a delicious chrome finish, of course.
Now for the warning, kids: don’t go messing with electrosex without some good guidance. If you aren’t lucky enough to live somewhere near a proper kinky shop with sage old proprietors to tutor you (or, to fly in a skilled teacher to do so), give a listen to the smart sex toy salesfolks at Blowfish, who give a grand overview in their Radio Blowfish Variety Show #9, where host Diana Cage gets her first “shock” live on the podcast.
Photo via Wiredpussy (Model: Betka Schpitz)
December 11th, 2005 at 7:17 am
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December 11th, 2005 at 6:33 pm
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January 31st, 2006 at 1:57 am
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